Children's Museum

I just love experiencing fun things with this guy! Caleb and Kirea have always been blessed with a consistent family that loves them and does fun things with them. But R appreciates and gets more excited about things than most three year olds would that have not been through what he has been through. He talks about the fun things we do for days. I'll never forget when we were at Fry's two days after he was placed with us I bought him a Cars sippy cup and he started jumping up and down saying 'gank you, gank you'! He acted as though it was best thing anyone has ever bought him. Once again this kid is just a blessing to us. I realize that he may not always be this grateful and we may face issues down the road because of all he has been through but now I just feel lucky to have been picked to love on him and that he is a part of our family for now!

Polar Express

This kid LOVED every minute of this trip. The snow (I am not sure if has seen snow before but he didn't act like it), the hotel room, the hot cocoa and cookie, santa, and THE TRAIN. He is obsessed with trains so we could not have come up with a better trip for him. This was the first time taking our older kids as well so it was fun to live through their excitement and fun. I will forever have the memory snuggling with with R in my lap and Kirea sitting next to me singing Christmas Carols on the Polar Express. Fun Times!

I want to eat him up!

I am feeling the need to write because I am getting to that point where I am falling so in love that I am getting scared and sad:( NEED TO STOP. I am suppose to fall in love with him and love him as my own. He deserves that. He has officially become a part of our family around our house. Caleb told him I think 6 times tonight that he loves him, Kirea gets sad when he leaves for school and she told her friends to be nice to her little brother today, and for me now all through the day I just have that sudden surge that I just want to grab him and hold him and kiss and hug him just as I do with my own kids. I find the things he says and does is cuter everyday. And well I am chop liver when Tony is around, R just adores Tony. I know that CPS is going to make it their first priority to get the siblings in one home. Parents rights may be severed. But that will be a long road and then IF it does happen they will try to find someone that is able to take R and his two sisters. Which is how it should be, he should be with his siblings. But then my selfishness kicks in and I worry about our family and how it will affect us. How long will he stay, how attached will our kids get? Will he have to start over with a new family? How hard will it be to say goodbye? My selfish part of me says, NO I WANT HIM TO STAY!

SO with all of that I need to be praying for peace. I text earlier Tony today because I did have this feeling peace today that I am so very sure that I was created to do foster care and so grateful that I have a husband that also has such a heart for it and because of his support and how he loves and provides for us I can live out one of the purposes God has given me. Trusting in the fact that God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." John 14:27

Never going to be able to understand

We had a fun time getting out the decorations and putting the tree up and all the lights outside. Little R was beyond excited. He is just loving the lights on our house and when we drive through the neighborhood and see them all. I would call it borderline obsessed, asking all day when we will blow up the 'NoMan' in the front yard and he has to watch it blow up. Its really cute. 

Last week he had a hard time. He left to go to a visit, its over an hour drive since they have to go pick up his little sister in Laveen and then to the CPS office. Well this time parents didn't call to cancel, they just didn't show. So he did get to see his sisters for a few minutes but then they brought him back. He seemed okay at first and he was fine but then a little bit later we were in the bathroom and he was on the potty and he said "no mommy, daddy". It broke my heart. I didn't even know what to say. I don't get stumped a lot but really didn't know exactly how to comfort him or make it positive. Every day since that day when he gets off the bus he asks if he's going to see Mommy, Daddy. And then cries and whines when I say no not today. Every night we pray as I rock him, I thank God for letting him be here in our home and letting us love him and then I pray for his Mommy and Daddy and I asked God to protect them and that they can all be together again soon. R has always loved the rocking chair and for me to rock him but now he goes to it randomly and rocks and says mommy daddy, mommy daddy. He does it when we are trying to get him dressed, when he is being silly, when he's happy or sad. Its like he loves when we pray for them. Precious boy.

Sweetest Moment Yet

First I must explain how sweet this boy is. He has stolen the hearts of our entire family. He loves to give hugs, he smiles all day, he listens, he plays. and he has recently started saying I love you too Mama is the sweetest possible voice. There's so much more I could say about him but long story short, he has my heart.

But the moment I had to make sure I wrote about is something that happened last night. Little R is so interested in the pictures we have around the house (which is a lot). He loves to look at our family year books, framed colleges, and especially the photos we have above our couch. We have a canvas of the four of us and a few pictures of the foster kids we have had. He stands on the couch and points and asks who each person is and then says wheres R (says his name)? I said yes we need to get pictures of you up here. And then he points to the canvas in between Caleb and Tony and said I want to go right there. He wants to be in our family picture!:( He wants pictures of himself around our house. He wants to looks at memories he has made. He wants to belong. We have had younger placements so this is the first one that could communicate and I feel as though he explained so very perfectly what every foster child feels but may not be able to say. He wants to belong. So incredibly sweet and sad.

I have ordered prints of him and plan on putting him around the house. He needs to know he belongs here, he is safe and loved here for however long he needs to be.

Halloween- A Fun Night!

We had such a fun night as a family with all our family and neighbors. We had some people over for Chili and Pumpkin Cake and then went out trick or treating. I love our neighborhood on Halloween. We see so many familiar faces and the kids  get so exited its impossible to not enjoy it and get a little excited as well. But no matter how much fun we had, no one had as much fun as Little R. He was so excited to get into his Batman costume and get out and get candy! This boy LOVES his candy! He walked the whole way, no complaints, went up to every house, collected his candy, and probably would have keep going. He was the happiest kid I have ever seen.

New placement!

We have been back on the list the last few weeks and have been waiting "patiently" for the call for a our next placement. So we were excited to get the call last night for a three year little boy. It was sad because the CPS workers were coming from the other side of town so we met in an IHOP parking lot to pick him up. Luckily he was asleep and didn't even wake up much for the transfer. He has two siblings, an older brother and a little sister so that breaks my heart they all had to be separated:( Last night went well, he was very tired and quiet but we were able to get him a bath, read to him, he helped tuck the big kids in bed and then we tucked him and he went right to sleep and slept all night without a peep. You wonder what is going on in their head of theirs! It must be so overwhelming. This morning he woke up happy, ate his breakfast and started running around playing with all the toys. We went to the park and he did great. He loves his backpack (the only thing he came with) and he is starting to talk more. He does have very little speech so far. I am sure this is the honeymoon stage but seems to be adjusting fine and we are so happy to have him for whatever amount of time and give him the love and consistency that he needs. Here we go again!:)

                                Look at those curls! He and Kirea could for sure pass as related!:)