we may be saying goodbye:(

I heard from our CPS worker on baby J's case and she explained that they are going to try to move this to an "in home" case when the case goes to court on the 23rd. This means that CPS will still be involved but the kids (baby J and her baby brother) will get to go home right away. This was so hard to hear and wasn't expecting it! I know that it was possible but from everyone I talked to it seemed like it would be longer and the parents had a lot more work to do. Even the trouble we have had with the parents, we have always been rooting for them, praying for them, and wanting them all to be a family again. But its going to be so hard to say goodbye to her. She has been here for four months, but seems so much longer and she has become a part of our family. She is so comfortable and happy here. Her and Kirea have become so attached. Whenever one of them is not in the same room, each of them is asking where the other is. They fight like siblings but also love each other so much. Its going to be the hardest on Kirea when she goes. :( The judge and the parents have to agree to the in home agreement but the case worker sees it going that direction, but of course any thing could happen.

I feel as though J is a completely different child from when she came here. I do not know what her home life was like exactly, I know that her parents love her and miss her, but I have no idea what her day to day life looked like, I have a guess but of course do not know for sure. When she came she was quiet, rarely smiled, didn't eat very much, threw herself on the ground frequently in fits, ran around all the time, no boundaries, almost seemed confused on where to go and what to do, she would NEVER go near Tony. If he held her, she completely froze. She would stare off. She didn't reach for me, just sat there, frozen, it was one of the weirdest things I have seen with a child that young. She would cry if Tony raised his voice and hated when Tony play fought or wrestled with the kids. When she came she did not want to have anything to do with Kirea, she would cry if Kirea did anything for her, she was not use to other kids. She was sick all the time and woke up crying out at night with night terrors. NOW in just four months, so much has changed, its crazy to me just typing it all out how different she is. She is the happiest little thing. No more night terrors and crying out, when we go in her room in the morning she is literally jumping up and down with huge smile, she starts dancing and humming and that means she wants me to sing the 'Mr. Sun' song. She seems SO smart to me, talking so much and I feel like she understands everything I am saying to her. If I leave her for any amount of time and come home she goes crazy and runs to me and then wants to run around jumping around celebrating. Makes me feel pretty special:) She listens and has fewer and fewer fits. The biggest change has been with Tony. In just the last week started calling him Daddy, even though we call him Tony for her. Last week when he got home, she ran to him yelling Daddy. That is just huge. Tonight she brought her baby doll to him and her 'baba' and wanted Tony to feed her baby. SO sweet!

So I just get sad for her as well, she looks at us as family now too and we will just be gone:( but I know she will be happy to be with her baby brother and parents, and I have to keep telling myself its so much better for her to go now rather than later when we are all so much more attached. Its not going to be easy to say goodbye:( Prayers please for her parents, for us to be able to trust God with her future, and for our hearts.