Some down sides to this is I guess dealing with out of state kinship can be a VERY long process, I have heard anywhere from 4 months to 18 months! That's when I start getting worried and sad. Sad for R and his sisters, having to miss out on all that time with his forever family, to get that much more established and comfortable in our home, with our kids becoming his siblings in his mind, and so on. I hate the thought of him starting over again, moving again, new routine...or no routine :( It's hard for my mind not to wonder to worse case or the possibility that it would not be a good place and what that would look like for these kids. I hope that I get to meet his grandma either via Skype or over the phone or something, and maybe that would ease my mind some? Just sending him off to who knows who. That's a hard thought. And then without getting into too many details of the case, it sounds like these poor birth parents simply do not know how to parent these three kids. And then I think if you don't know how to parent, you probably weren't parented? So that's hard to understand as well. Grandma has to get cleared by the state, background checks, home checks, etc. so there is a possibility that the state may find her unfit to be able to care for them.
Lately whenever R reaches to hug me or has what we call in this house a "love gush", he hugs me and says 'I want to keep you'. UGH where did he get that?! But melts my heart every time. Tonight when I was getting his jammies on his said that his 'other Mommy' had to take him to the hospital because he had lots of owies and then he starts pointing his shoulders and hips. I don't know if that's true. CPS is saying that he was abused. He doesn't act like he was abused to me (but who knows what that looks like anyway, I am sure its different with every kid and could show up later in behaviors) BUT regardless when he says things like that I just want to grab him and never let him go. My hearts says God he could have a guaranteed loving home here forever, why not that?
But here we go again...:) This is where the faith and trust comes in. Trusting that God knows where R needs to be. He sees his future and I can not. And I do know that God will walk with him each step of the way. We will enjoy the time we get and keep teaching him and pointing him towards the only one that will never leave him, disappoint him, the one that will love him unconditionally every day of his life. God created such a special person in R and I know he saved us for him and him for us for this time and I am so grateful.
